Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Was Kierkegaard Truly The Person He Claimed, Or Simply A Projection Of What He Wished Others To See Him As?



In terms of Kierkegaard’s view of subjectivity and passion and how they are essential to the “existence” of a person, to generalize the complexity of the whole as a means to lead a point, is a point of view that I could not agree with much more than I do. My complication of enjoying the arguments of Kierkegaard has never come from his views of how one should arrive to decide who they are, or that of the lack of passion that derives from birth entitlements, status, or simply any sense of self that derives from the occurrence of birth. In most every regard, I agree with his points of essentially deciding who you are from an inward perspective. I find conflict in the fact that his leap of faith concluded in a continued lateral stagnation of remaining Christian.
Perhaps this will be seen as simply attacking the fact that he did not renounce his faith, or that enlightenment and an honest inward view of self can only conclude in ones loss of faith. In that regard, I can only say it is entirely wrong in my intent, and hopefully that notion is let go while reading this in order to see this point from my intended meaning, rather than one of face value perception.
Through all of his works that I have read and studied, Kierkegaard is very open to criticize faith and state how most are not of true Christian faith as it comes with no internal conflict, subjective decisions of the morality they choose of the life they live, a complete lack of passion to truly care about “what” they believe life, morality, or simply faith is. Does one simply argue their faith in god because they can provide self-formulated “evidence” of the existence of omnipotence? Does that prove one has faith? Simply put, no. He screams against the notion as it lacks any inward anxiety of personal struggle with a true faith, a true personal relationship with “God”, one derived of your own decisions of what life is from how you perceive morality and experience.
Why does this raise my ire of his points which I agree with in terms of subjectivity bringing you to your own path of how you view life and death and what meaning you apply to where that path leads? Simple, I never felt he showed his anxiety or passion beyond simply proving he was a true Christian as he understood a philosophical approach better than “Christians”, as well as the Dialecticians such as Hegel (or Hegelians even). I always find, when I read his work, I agree with his points of an inward life, and the paradox of faith, I even agree with the leap of faith; yet I still feel such a massive disconnect with his passion. It took a few readings before I could accept this unsettling disconnect, as I had no issue that he “leaped” into the arms of his “God”, I had a problem that it is never clear what inward anxiety separated him from those he criticized and very heavily chastised or belittled for their birthright beliefs. Obviously he had inner turmoil, Fear and Trembling leads to his, more than likely, mimicking of the story of Abraham with his then wife to be Regine Olsen by sacrificing what he loved most in an earthly regard in order to devout his entire being to the love of his “God”. A true showing of faith. However, I see only a child born of a “cursed” father because of his (the fathers) sins against god (child out of wedlock, lords name in vain as a child, etc) who instilled a heavy religious mindset and spent his life flagellating himself for sins to a possible greater degree than his father is implied to have done. I see someone who shows more a fear that he is not devout enough, than someone who gave an honest subjective view of self in order to ever actually have a “leap of faith”. To make the point simple, I believe that while the views and critiques Kierkegaard proclaims are mostly fantastic, and a very good perspective when the subject of self and personal meaning is at discussion, I do not believe he was at all different from those he showed such a heavy disdain for. I feel of what I have studied thus far only show a man who has done an amazing job hiding his own fear of death and possible religious doubts behind a passionate wall of finger pointing and angst.
Again, I still have more to study, and perhaps others could guide me down a path of research that may shed some light on this being incorrect. However, I have been searching his works, and I have yet to find anything that shows me his faith was truly derived from a personal relationship from his own struggle with faith and self in the first place, beyond that of essentially being “more” of a “true” Christian. That bothers me.

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